Tuesday, 6 May 2008

Au Centre Ville

It’s the school holidays, the weekend, a bank holiday, a (insert similar occasion here) and the likelihood is that most school or college aged people are likely to be looking for some form of entertainment to keep them and their various mates amused for most, if not the entirety of the day. Now there’s nowt wrong with that. Quite the contrary, infact it’s what I’m most likely to do when one finds herself with a scarce free day. However young people today seem to have lost the capability to explore any new options with regards to entertainment or “Good Ole Fashioned Fun”. In fact their vocabulary appears to have contacted to one mere eventuality, “town”. God forbid we try and do anything different. As once again I find myself sat at that same table, in that same café tediously counting out my copper and silver and trying to work out if I can afford the cheapest thing on the menu I do begin to wonder if it’s all worth it. The hoards of “featherweight” shoppers, dawdling mindlessly down the high street in a snail- like fashion before grinding to an infuriating halt - right in the middle of the road… Is it so wrong to want to walk at a reasonable pace without being propelled into the posterior of these blissfully oblivious individuals? You finally arrive at the destination of your choice (if you haven’t given up already) only to wonder if the shop is exceeding the limit of human bodies allowed in such a confined space. You stagger blindly in the sweltering heat in the general direction of the exit, probably demolishing a fair few displays along the way. All surveyed by the oh-so-delightful shop assistant*. Now shop assistants generally seem to come in two types; the cynical, scrutinising “It’s a teenager watch out they’ll nick something” mindset form who doggedly follow your every move or the irritatingly ultra peppy aide determined to be your new best friend as they “helpfully” point out practically every item in the store, detailing its good points/how much it would suit you/how they could do a special deal on it “just for you”. Despite the fact you plainly stated you’re just browsing… At least fifty times. Need I continue on to depict images of “splendid” cuisine, trying to hoodwink the bus driver into believing you are entitled to a child ticket and lashings of gale force winds and rain? As I finally slump exhausted in the comfort of my own home I feel somewhat anaesthetized after the whole traumatic experience which I seem to be putting myself through on a regular basis. Is there no one else who feels remotely similar? Or perhaps I am simply a freak of society?

Dare I suggest we go to the beach?

*This article bears no ill will to shop assistants as people………… Just the people they become as soon as they get that uniform on.

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