Sunday, 15 June 2008

Money For The Poor

So it's that time of year again. Exam season. Except only this time it's my turn to sit those dreaded and feared GCSE's. Now being the qualifications traditionally crucially important for setting you in good stead for later life one would think that standards of invigilation and surroundings would be high. However as I enter the exam hall a shudder runs over me and not because I'm scared. I must tell you... Our school exam hall is... Freezing. So I sit down at my desk only to discover my chair is half broken and perilously in danger of collapsing halfway through the exam. However the thought of asking the scary Noel Edmunds lookalike who has been hired to officially supervise for the duration of the exam season. I'm sure he's a perfectly amicable person but now is not the time to confirm that. Would it cost the establishment so much more to provide the students of today with table that doesn't rock in a way which appears to replicate the movement of a journey on rowing boat every time one moves their pen? Surely it's classed as a detrimental distraction when the lighting fluctuate from a blazing glare to a murky gloom within the space of five minutes? And how about some quieter heating? Not that it works effectively anyway but it would be nice to to have to listen to a rocket relaunching as I try and calcuate the product of two simultaneous equations.

Okay maybe not the top of the governments agenda but maybe it should be. Of course I'm not just slightly be covering my back incase I fail everything.. I wonder if I could sue for distractions?


Hattie said...

You realise that now there's evidence of how crappy the sports hall is on record, I'm gonna blame my not exactly top marks on the hideous conditions.

They really should get friendlier examiners....but then I guess you'd end up more likely to cheat...argh! It's just one ugly circle! Kinda like the pizza I made in year 8. Yeah.

Anonymous said...

and another typo, tut tut tut jemzi.

Jem said...

Matt you really should learn to leave your name.

If my writings so bad then you write the blimmin' blog... No hang on t wouldn't be half as good then

Oh and ta hattie :D

Anonymous said...

you even left another typo in that reply! lol!

Tom said...

Ah good old Noel. Those were the days.

If I were any good I'd try and think of some sort of Noel Edmonds/Deal or No Deal gag... but its just not coming.