Monday, 2 June 2008

The Commandments Of Thy Public Bus..

Now anyone who knows me will know I'm a big fan of all things green, including public transport. However of late it has come to my attention that more and more members of the general public just don't know how to compose themselves in the presence of others. So dear people of the UK if you're wondering if your behavior on the buses is acceptable then read on...



1. Thou Shalt Not Play Thy Music Loudly...

Mp3 players and headphones were invented for a reason you know? The general idea comprising of most people have conflicting music tastes and to spare our poor ears from the distressing sounds of these"songs". I mean sure you may absolutely love your latest chav mix album. However to be brutally honest I think it sounds worse than dying mammal pulled along by a four by four over hot coals. I'm sure you think the same about my tastes but I don't force them down your ear drums. So how about we agree to differ, just this once and invest in a costly pair of 49p headphones....



2. Thou Shalt Not Create A Music Battlefield...

Following on from aforementioned point probably not the best idea to rise to the bait if some oblivious, self centered individual does choose the play their music about at loud as a passing jumbo jet. It's really not nice to be sat on a bus whilst three different genres blare out at you from all directions each rising in volume until the roof of the bus finally blows off... I've only got a limited supply of painkillers you know..



3. Thou Shalt Not Take Up A Double Seat During An Influx Of Passengers

Have some people simply not heard of the term "Public Bus"? Sure by all means take a double seat but if the bus suddenly becomes more packed than a Robbie Williams concert on a people to space ratio, then maybe it's time reduce your personal space a tad.. A whole bus journey to whereever and back is not best spent on ones feet. Whilst the bus shakes and lurches in all manner of directions.



4. Thou Shalt Not Sit Next To Randomees In Periods Of Sparse Numbers

Following the same rule of thumb if the bus is as crowded as an ice cream parlour in a thunder storm then as much as I don't begrudge you the other half of my seat on crowded days I don't particularly fancy sitting next to a radommee if I can avoid it. I'm sure you're lovely and all but I don't know you and after a long day and most probably looking like I've been dragged through a hedge backwards now is not the time to get to know you..



5. Thou Shalt Not Litter Thy Public Bus

Sure. You're so lazy you can't wait untill you can find a bin. It's not nice for me having to sit in you mess afterward or the poor driver who has to clean it up - that wasn't in his job description you know?



6.Thou Shalt Not Smoke On Thy Public Bus


Public Buses are for the public and non smoking areas. I do not want to be engulfed in haze of your smoke making me cough and splutter..

2 comments:

Surfer Gal said...

Hey i agree with this but you forgot the inapropriate behaviour of the monkeys from younger years, to stop swingin like they just don't care.

Tony said...

yeah too true! nothing worse than sitting in a bus populated with music addicts, who are only too happy to share their particular, mind-numbing taste of music with you...

and you forgot long, annoying phone calls on the bus!